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Category Archives: Work

Working from home today

Ah, the joys of telecommuting. I could not cope with working at home all of the time, but I do enjoy the flexibility it gives you every now and then. I am sure telecommuting will change a lot once virtual presence technology has matured and is widely available (this will require more powerful computers). Until then, working using the likes of Google Wave or just shared environments, instant messaging and telephones will have to do the job.

I was able to start early this morning, much earlier than I would normally do during the week, and get some solid uninterrupted work in, leaving me time to take a break (and type things like this). It is sad that so many organisations are still effort focused (or more often time focused) instead of outcome focused. This will surely change in the future as work becomes more fragmented, people follow multiple careers, many more work for themselves, and teams go virtual and cooperate in cyber space.

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Early morning ice skating and the dreaded lurgy

I had to take a day off sick yesterday, felt really rough and knew I would not be able to focus on work. My current client and project allows me to work at home on Fridays, which is great as firstly, you can generally get a lot more work done as you get fewer interruptions and can concentrate on tasks more intently and secondly, you get a decent weekend as you are home by late afternoon (or even mid-afternoon if you get up early enough and have not calls scheduled later in the day).

However, I had felt a little off colour all week and have not slept well. I did wonder if the hotel room was causing me problems as for some reason the Swansea Marriott had not followed my standard Marriott profile which says to provided me with a feather free room – I am asthmatic and react to feathers somewhat. I finally raised this with them, having not really taken it in properly before, and discovered that they had their own unique profile for me and had not picked up my master profile. They had someone change the bedding for me straight-away and it did help a bit.

The drive home on Thursday night took more energy than usual and I pretty much collapsed at home. My wife had also been a little off colour during the week but my eldest daughter had felt very ill and had had a fever. She had stayed in her room. She was never sick though and we do not think she had swine flu.

My younger daughter had finally got the go-ahead for her physiotherapist to start skating (with due case and attention) again. She had fallen over badly in an ice skating lesson some weeks before and effectively got whiplash. Her trainer was happy to start up with her again but could only offer lessons on Saturday mornings or Tuesday afternoons. The latter were no good as they were too close to school closing time and not practical if my wife was working (although my elder daughter could probably have done the drive). Saturday morning seemed a better bet.

I was not exactly delighted to discover it was to be at 6.45 in the morning – we would have to get here there for 6.30 which meant leave at 6.10 therefore get up at 6am. I normally get up at this time during the week so I can have a swim in the hotel before grabbing a breakfast and hopping on free shuttle bus (or driving in early enough to get a parking space) and have to get up even earlier to be able to drive down to Swansea for a decent time to be in the office. I have little desire to be up at this time on a Saturday. Especially having been off sick the day before. (I agreed with my wife, I would see how I was this morning and she would go if I was not up to it.)

I did manage the early start and whilst still feeling a little weak and woolly managed the round trip ok. Have not done much for the rest of the day though, not least as we are scheduled to head out to see a play tonight. Not sure if we are well enough though…

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A week in Swansea

I moved onto a new client this week, based in Swansea (the obvious guess applies). There is already a large and well established team there from several companies working in some degree of harmony. I was originally expecting to benefit from a couple of weeks handover from my predecessor but as it turned out, this was not to be so and I was dropped into the deep end. Not as deep as it could have been though as many people were still on holiday and there was another colleague who had worked closely with my forerunner and who I will continue to work with who was able to lead through my new world. Continued…

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Training

I attended an internal training course for a couple of days last week. I had been trying to get on this course for months, but client priorities kept meaning I could not attend. I had heard good things about the training from those who had gone before. Continued…

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My car’s broken

Wouldn’t you know it – I have two weeks of holiday which I am spending at home for a change and my [company] car has be taken away for repair.

I took my youngest off to an ice skating lesson on Tuesday and a bit of road debris burst a tyre and damaged bodywork around the wheel arch. It happened only a short distance away from the ice rink so I was able to park up there and call the leasing company. It seems it was a busy day and it took a few hours to get a flat-bed to me to take my car away. It took Hertz even longer to get a replacement hire car to me, so I was hanging around in this car park from around 9am to 2pm.

Continued…

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Work life goes on

Not happy. Not sleeping. Not focused. Had to leave a project earlier than I had planned. Still working through the reasons. Thank goodness for a fantastic family, brilliant friends and some fantastic colleagues.

Continued…

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New opportunities

I found out on my return from holiday that I shall be rolling off my current project within a couple of months. I had originally expected to be around until at least the end of the year, but a reorganisation of the project and a desire by the client to take on much more themselves again means I will not be required after July in my current role. Potentially there are other roles around on the project but I am more inclined to look elsewhere.

I have enjoyed driving down to Swindon each week since November last year. Certainly a more pleasant journey than that for my previous project which had me located near Heathrow – never fun any day of the week, but especially not on a Monday morning.

The hotel I have been staying is just over the road from the project office, which is a rare convenience.

I might well end up overseas again. Have not do that for a while not least because I am no great fan of flying. It is always interesting to work in another country though.

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Strange hotel

For reasons that still escape me, there is a hotel about half-an-hour from my current work location that has proven popular with some of the most senior members of our team. They stay there most of the time despite, as train users, needing a taxi to get to/from the place (by contrast, I drive to the client location and stay in a hotel over the road).

They have also selected the hotel for use for many of our off-site meetings. This means 5 hours or so most Monday evenings!

I have stayed there a couple of times but do not like it. Whilst a nice change from the usual corporate hotels I live in more days a week than I spend at home, I find the rooms a little too tight for my liking.

The hotel is closely associated with a local Japanese car manufacturing site (it might even be owned by the Japanese company concerned). The food is Japanese – a nice change from the usual 3663/Brakes (food service companies) fare.

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Changing role

After over 14 months working on a major systems integration project for one client, I am finally coming to the end of my work. I have anticipated that I might well move into another role within the project but as my skills tend to have been around more infrastructural based elements, which are nearly concluded, it is a good moment to move on.

There are a few niggly technical things to fix before I can move on completely but I can probably do most of these remotely working with some colleagues on site. This will give me a chance to catch up on some things at home, do some training I should have completed ages ago and also sit back a little and check some things out on the "just in case" radar.

I changed which part of my employer’s organisation I lived in earlier this year so I could see as much I could be involved in more implementation work than had been the case for a while. Before, I was more focused on traditional consultancy around strategy and change work and often this meant only being with a client for a few weeks or so. At most, 6 months (and I was usually doing implementation work in those cases).

My background is primarily in IT in Engineering and Retail and I am used to to heading up large departments and major projects with a lot of operational responsibilities. Whilst I have enjoyed the straight consulting work I have been doing for the last six or seven years, it is not as satisfying as actually delivering change. I have a view that anyone advising on strategy and change should have experience of delivery that they need to top-up every now and then.

It will be interesting to see where the next project takes me to. The best and worst parts of my job are that you never know.

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Team meal

Something unusual happened last night. A large group of us working as a temporary critical-delivery team went out for a meal together. We went to an excellent fish & chip cum pub restaurant, Mulligan’s Restaurant & Bar. The place had a tremendous, relaxed and easy-going vibe to it.

The food was excellent as was the company. I ended up over-eating (no great change there). I was caught out by them giving me a very generous main-course sized portion of fried white-bait as my starter followed by a huge portion of fried battered haddock to accompany my chips and mushy peas. In fact, to my shame (old habits die hard), I was unable to finish the haddock.

There were plenty of other fish choices on the menu including sea-bass and sword-fish (two of my favourites) but I had been wanted a very down-to-earth team evening out for so time and it felt right to go for fish-and-chips.

Mulligan’s Restaurant & Bar
Fish a speciality
134 Horton Road,
Datchet
01753 591173

We were ripped-off on the taxi-cost to get there. A colleague had booked an 8-seater mini-bus taxi through the hotel for some of us. Although the place was less than 10 miles away, we were charged £50. Ridiculous. We got similar sized transport back booked through the restaurant and they charged half this much.

Many of my colleagues decided to make a night of it and headed for the bar when we got back to the hotel. I could not face that – I was tired and no longer have the desire to stay-up for hours drinking. I understand they went on to about 5’o‘clock in the morning!! They were certainly the worse for wear in the office the following morning – but they did make it in, which was impressive. Still, I was glad to not be going through a hangover.

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Weekend working

I had three model shoots booked for this coming weekend but I have had to cancel one of them as I need to work on Sunday. I have been lucky over the last few months in that I have felt the need to do only the odd few hours work but this time I have been asked specifically to do a particular bit of work to help some others out. Feels different when it is not optional (well it is, but not really). It does need to get done. I get well paid and it is not much to ask from time to time.

I suspect my family will not be so happy but such is life.

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Hotel dining

I have spent most weekday nights over the last year in a Crown Plaza hotel. I know the room services menu pretty much off by heart. I am allergic to cheese which knocks out a large chunk of the relatively short menu. I think the food mostly comes from the 3663 food services company, which has a large repertoire but I don’t think I had the best offering tonight.

I uploaded this picture to flickr so my wife could see what I was dining on. (In case you are wondering, under the chicken there is some kind of potato-cake.) Overall, this meal was very salty, insipid and of pretty uniform texture. Apart from that, it was fine.

I generally prefer to eat in my room rather than in the restaurant (which has a bigger menu than room service) on my own. On some project I have done in the past, it has been the norm for me to eat with a group of colleagues most nights it has not worked out this way on the current project, partly because of long working hours, travel arrangements and the distributed nature of the team (throughout a building). We do go out for a meal together every now and then.

I also go for take-away meals regularly, taking them back to my room. (I have to get take-away cutlery and, sometimes plates, as the hotel want to charge, understandably, me £10 to lend me the real stuff when I am not eating their food.) Some of the local places will deliver to the hotel as well but it is usually easier for me to pick something up on the way back from the office.

Does not do much for health eating though. We are even told that sandwitches are not that healthy or safe these days. Hobson’s choice.

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My knee hurts

I was in danger of ignoring this for far too long. There was no obvious trauma to explain why my knee started to hurt when I got up after sitting for an hour or so. It first started a few weeks ago and it was a minor inconvenience that I was sure could be walked off.

By the end of last week, I was in considerably pain, my knee (the left one by the way) had swelled up considerably, and any walking was very painful. There were even a few occasions when the flash of pain was such that I blacked out for a moment – not a good idea.

Until the latter part of last week, I had no problems once I was resting in bed but the last few nights found me in discomfort even under these circumstances and this started to impact my sleep.

Fortunately, I managed okay when I went to see Hamlet but the weekend was clearly going to be difficult. I purchased a knee support (lots of Velcro straps) from Boots on Saturday and kept it on for most of the day and in bed the first night. It helped a lot and I was able to drive the family to Wales on Sunday to attend my Father-in-law’s 70th birthday celebration.

My wife’s aunt, also attending, is a recently retired senior physiotherapist and she did a quick check and provided some advice. A key part of this was to see my GP.

Monday morning I delayed my trip down to the Heathrow area by a few hours in order to be able to visit my GP. Got a morning appointment without problems and had a very good consultation. (He even solicited my opinions on "poly-clinics".)

Fortunately, it looks like there is no major problem with my knee but there is some ligament damage and he advised physiotherapy and some anti-inflammation drugs. (Just for fun, the drugs have the potential side-effect of causing some asthma complications. Great!)

Rather then use a local physiotherapist, I said I wanted to find someone close to where I was working at the moment. This meant he had to write to ‘Dear Colleague’ which he said he hated doing.

A quick search on Yell found a physiotherapy clinic on the business park I am located on. What luck! They were happy to take me on and my employer’s medical insurance company were happy for me to use them.

My first appointment was today. Great practitioner, lots of experience, really knew her knee stuff (well, convinced me anyway). Walking to/from the place was probably a mistake though. The return back to the office was not fun and the knee caused me a lot of discomfort. I was thinking that I might have to bail-out of the day and head back to the hotel to rest my leg and do some work from my bed.

I have some simple exercises to do. I need to ensure I get up at least every half-hour BUT I should not walk far (not put my knee under much load, certainly not attempt stairs). She advised me to rest at the weekend – minimal walking, just movement.

I had only been back at my desk for a short while when my wife phoned to say her purse had been stolen whilst she and my youngest were shopping in London.

A bus and train trip to Paddington and back to the office pretty much did my knee in. I could not concentrate on my work and eventually gave up (after five though) and headed for my hotel. Usually I feel guilty leaving the office early – or at least when I have not got done what I planned to complete. This time, I didn’t. Finally, I am giving some attention to my health.

A colleague advised alcohol. I am not much of a drinker these days but I took the advice and am writing this after a fine meal with colleagues and plenty of drink (for me at least). I might well have made a fool of myself, but my knee will probably not stop me sleeping tonight.

My next physio session is booked for Friday – the day I drive home so alcohol will not be an option. Oh well, something to look forward to. Maybe the drugs, exercises and support strap will have done the trick by then and I will be well on the road to recovery.

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Assault at the Holiday Inn

I stay in hotels a lot. Usually Monday to Thursday night most weeks for work. Currently, I am enjoying the benefits of a Crown Plaza hotel which is at the upper end a hotel group that includes Holiday Inn. The points generated from such staying hardly compensate for being away from home so much but do make it easy (and cheap) to put my family up in Holiday Inn hotels whenever handy for short breaks and stays after visits to the theatre.

On Friday night, we stayed at a Holiday Inn in Lemmington Spa after watching a performance of Hamlet in Stratford-upon-Avon. I had checked in two rooms a little earlier in the day on the way to meet up with my family. (One room for my wife and I and another for my eldest daughter and a friend of hers – my youngest having lost out because of an unfortunate incident with one of her friends.) The hotel reception was very polite and friendly and I was delighted with the service. The rooms were basic but okay although they lacked air-conditioning (something I am used to both in my usual hotel and at home) – which was slightly worrying given how hot it was outside.

When we returned to the hotel after seeing the play, we were too late for the full room service menu. The rest of our little group had eaten early but I had met up with them a little late for a full meal so needed a little extra. The 24 hour menu offered me only sandwiches and a couple of curries. Well, I know the 3663 (a food services company) Thai Green Chicken Curry pretty well so plumped for that. However, when I pressed the button for Room Service I was greeted by someone on the Bar and when I asked for the curry was simply told "the chefs have gone home" – I checked the menu again and this was definitely a 24 hour item (and one that obviously can pretty much just be bunged into a microwave oven) so I could not see the relevance of the location of the chefs. I pointed this out and the assertion was repeated. Louder. A little further probing revealed that the curry in question was secured away being locked cupboards so even had the microwave skills been available, there were stumped. 

My request for take-away menus was greeted by shock. So I went for a simple sandwich and a bottle of a dry white wine I vaguely remembered hearing about for my wife and I to share. Less than 30 mins later, the sandwich was delivered by a cheery chap complete with a glass of red wine (rather than a bottle of white). I pointed out the error and received an apology and a few minutes later he returned with aforementioned bottle and an assurance that I would not be charged for the glass of red wine that I was also welcome to consume. Fair enough.

Our sleep was disturbed by a shrieking fire alarm in the early hours of the morning. We stumbled out of bed and grabbed out our clothes ready for a quick exit. The alarm stopped and we returned gratefully to bed. I have experienced many fire alarms in my hotel stays over the years, one or two fires and lots of standing around outside waiting for the fire-brigade to give the all clear. Just one of those things. I would rather be woken by mistake a few times than be burnt to death.

Suddenly, there was a loud and urgent banging on the door and a voice boomed out to advise us: "you have set the alarm off – I need to come into your room now". I took a moment to get dressed and then opened the door. The owner of the voice, stormed into the room (despite my wife still being in bed) and started to interrogate us: "have you been smoking?" No. We do not smoke then. "Ironing then?" Nope. We were asleep. "Are you sure?" Yes, absolutely [as if we would get that mixed up – perhaps a little ‘sleep ironing’]. He looked around for awhile then announced that he would have to go and check on the people that would be running around the corridors because of the alarm but he warned us that he would be back. Oh joy.

Had I been less tired, I would firstly have not let him into the room and secondly would have responded rather strongly to his assertions. As it was, he left my wife in a very unhappy state, myself very irritated and, I later found out, my kid and her friend in the room opposite somewhat disturbed (to put it mildly) as well.

He did not come back. Shame as we had got dresses and were waiting for him for an hour.

Breakfast when we got up later was also not trouble free. Confusion over whether or not we had handed our vouchers in (we had – but the first guy to take them from us had not written things down), missing tea, and hot food that wasn’t hot.

When I checked out, the bill contained that glass of red wine I had not asked for! I got that removed of course. I then asked to see the Duty Manager.

It took her 25 minutes to turn up – good job there wasn’t an emergency! Another member of staff asked if she could help at one point but when I mentioned "official complaint", "assault" the search for the deputy manager intensified. I added "not being able to find the Duty Manager" to my list of worrying things.

I told the Deputy Manager, once she turned up, that I considered the events during the night regarding the fire alarm to be a very serious matter but one that I had decided to leave it with them to sort out on the understanding that I expected a written apology and confirmation that the employee in question had been appropriately reprimanded and retrained and that I also expected to receive some kind of compensation. She appeared to take the matter seriously, apologised to me, advised that the Manager would be in later that day and that she would escalate this to her immediately and that I should expect them to be in touch shortly.

I am a little surprised that I have not had a phone call from the Manager with an apology and confirmation that they will be in touch shortly but I await with interest to see what they do, if anything. I did warn the Deputy Manager that if I did not hear from them shortly, I would escalate this to my employer who has a huge account with this hotel group and who I expected would want to discuss this matter at the highest level.

Somewhat ironically, the fire-alarm in my own house went off a couple of time last night and we could not work out which sensor tripped the system (we do not have a sophisticated control system). Probably a bug had crawled into one of the smoke sensors (the most common problem) – some of sensors are a little tricky to get at to hoover out regularly.

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Hamlet

Introduction

Thanks to the social club at work, I got tickets for the family to see Shakespeare’s Hamlet at the RSC’s The Courtyard Theatre in Stratford-upon-Avon last night (one of a series of preview nights I think). The company included David Tennant as Hamlet and Patrick Stewart as Claudius amongst many other well known actors from stage and screen.

Theatre and Staging

This was my first visit to this theatre  which opened only a couple of years ago. There is a virtual tour available on the link above. I love the way the stage projects fully into the audience and the actors can enter/exit essentially through the audience. We were located to the side and I had the last seat next to one of the stage exits (had to remember not to stretch my leg out or I would have tripped up the actors as they strode into the centre of the stage on scene changes). I had a great view. I doubt there are any bad seats in the theatre.

I have seen Hamlet many times over the years, it is one of my favourite plays and always makes me laugh. This was an absolutely superb production. Staging was kept very clean with very little furniture and the actors used the space extremely well (there were times I worried that they were going to spill over into the audience though). Text aside, the setting was modern so most of the characters were in contemporary clothing most of the time. They even used the sound of a helicopter and had someone abseil onto the stage at one point. The stage was backed by a set of revolvable semi-transparent mirrors and the stage itself was highly reflective (the actors made brilliant use of this in dark outside scenes by bouncing light from their modern torches off the stage surface to illuminate each other’s faces). In some scenes, chandeliers were lowered into view.

The Audience

Not surprisingly, given Tennant’s popularity as the current incarnation of The Doctor in the BBC’s long running family sci-fi drama, Doctor Who there were a lot more younger people in the audience than one might normally expect. To my delight, they all seemed to genuinely enjoy the performance and did not disturb the players at all. The same was true of my own daughter and her close friend both of whom came to the performance with open minds and discovered that "Shakespeare could be funny" – that this was a surprise says a lot for our education system. It took them rather less than the twenty minutes I have advised them it would take to tune into the form of English used, which says a lot for the quality of the acting (the better the acting, the easier the tuning is even for those less familiar with the form).

David Tennant

I like Tennant as an actor a lot. Although he has been in the RSC for many years, I had never seen him on stage before but having seen him in a wide range of roles on film and TV, I had high hopes of his Hamlet and was delighted by what he delivered. His body language, facial expressions and of course, following the rhythm of the text, his voice were very different from  what he does when playing the Doctor although he still used an English rather than a Scottish accent although again this was subtly different from the accent he uses for the Doctor – bit of a shame really as many people think the texts work better with the older-form accents rather than BBC English. The timbre and pacing were very different from Doctor Who most of the time. Obviously, as this was theatre, the projection of his voice was also very different from TV and film and appeared natural and effortless. (I am glad he did not get too close to me when he was in full rant as his voice was very strong and there was clearly a lot of spit involved.)

There were brief moments when you could see the same actor but then there are moments when the energy and madness shown by Hamlet are not that far from what the Doctor goes through. At times he roughed his hair up so much and wagged his head back and forth so violently that I was surprised he did not become bald and get neck strain.

He nailed the sometimes frantic pace of the text perfectly and walked the line between despair, madness and subtle irony brilliantly. The switches from moments of apparent insanity to the most cutting of remarks were enthralling and the occasions of deep sadness and even despair most moving.

The physicality he brought to the part was impressive and there were times when I feared for his well being (the casual way he dropped towards Ophelia’s grave as well as on and over the edges many times for example). The sword fight was dramatic. There is so much attention given to this by the audience that the usual stage distraction methods (to hide poor stage fighting skills) are not available to the director and the rapier work has to be pretty realistic for the average audience member to be convinced. This was done extremely well in my view with lots of energy and excellent use of space. Clearly both actors had practiced long and hard.

I believe that in some of the previews, he was largely barefoot but he did have footwear during some of this production. Trainers at one point in fact.

Patrick Stewart

Patrick Stewart is of course also famous not just as a long standard Shakespearean actor but also for playing the part of Captain of the starship Enterprise, Jean Luke Piccard, in the TV series (and follow-up films) Star Trek: The Next Generation for seven or so years. If memory serves me correctly, the producers of that show when originally casting for it had had trouble filling the part of the Captain when the saw Stewart on stage and realised – if they could persuade him – that they had found their Captain. I would have to say that Stewart’s presence on stage was to me greater than that of Tennant’s but that could simply be a trick of the role (after all, Stewart is playing the King) and his age. It would be fascinating to see Tennant, when he is much older, in the role of King playing against the latest upstart of the next generation.

Oliver Ford Davies

I have to mention Oliver Ford Davies at this point as well. He played Polonius, the Lord Chamberlain and father of Ophelia. One the most difficult roles to bring off well given you have to portray someone who gets somewhat tied up in his own logistical knots loosing threads here and there, playing on words and overly complicating everything. Superb and hilarious.

The Company

In fact, the whole cast were exceptional in my view – a credit to them and the director. I especially love the quality of stillness these fine stage actors displayed from time-to-time. It resonates as strongly as well timed silences and provides a great counter-point to a lot of the action. It was clear to me that the whole cast understood the text well including the many word plays and double-entendres. The meanings of some of the words have inevitably changed over the years and actors knowing only the modern meanings may well have acted things differently. The setting and clothes may have been modern, but this company knew what Shakespeare was talking about.

The End

The death scene at the end was especially well done – so refreshing to avoid a "Hollywood ending" and have the hero going on to a happy-ever-after life. I especially like Hamlet fading away in Horatio’s arms. (I forgive the "dead" actors breathing hard after their frantic fighting scene.)

Stage Door

Once we exited the theatre we found that there were large numbers of mostly young people gathered around the stage-door waiting to greet, presumably, Tennant and have him sign things. (It has since been on the news that the RSC, reasonably
in my view, have advised that he will only be signing things relating to his performance in Hamlet and not any Doctor Who material.)

The Programme

One last thought for anyone who has tickets to see this play: buy the programme – it actually tells you something interesting including how they put the production together (gems such as everyone in the company reads all of the parts except their own at one point for example). It also has a good little biography of each of the players.

Next

I think I should go and book tickets for Tennant’s next role now (as Berowne in Love’s Labour’s Lost).

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The blocker to home working

The corporate intranet has a bit of a feature today on remote working that I have been perusing whilst providing TLC to an email recovery process I am having to suffer at the moment. My employer has a very positive attitude towards home working and is promoting this way of working. Sadly, it is not an opportunity that comes my way much. I posted a comment to one of the key articles. A bloggised version of my comment follows.

I am a mobile worker expected to work on client sites most of the time. I very rarely get the opportunity to work from home, am at the mercy of the client for communications facilities (and even desk space), and hardly ever visit one of "my own" offices.

The technologies that support remote-working are very familiar to me. I have led development teams spread around the world in the past using mostly phone, email and instant-messaging from its earliest days.

Despite my positive experience of remote working, I have never found a way to overcome on a practical day-to-day basis the gap between the level of communication one has in face-to-face meetings in workshops and other key meetings and the level of communication one has when using remote working options.

We all know that the spoken and written word represent only a fraction of the content of the communications that take place between people working face-to-face. People who know each other very well are able to compensate to some extent for the loss of information when interacting remotely from each other. The greatest need for this lost content though tends to be when working with new people, in the early days of team building, and when there are conflicting agendas.

I have rarely left key meetings without hearing colleagues discussing the body-language of the people around the table and consideration being given to the level of confidence we can have in what we heard ("do you think she believed that?", "I didn’t get the sense that he was going to deliver the new system on time", "it did not look like she really understood the alternative design even though she agreed with the proposal").

In the long run, I am sure "virtual-presence" technologies will overcome many of the limitations of remote communications but until then, I think for many complex client engagements and particular types of work there is no choice but to be together. I wish it were not so.

I would be delighted to hear of approaches others have put into place to help overcome some of the limitations I have alluded to. Maybe I can create more opportunities to work from home before my children have left the nest.

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Climbing out of the trough

Today was a much better day than yesterday. I am feeling much more positive. Things are difficult but not as bad as I felt yesterday. I have fallen victim to a trap I warned each member of one of my team’s about.

If you take on roles around things like support, problem resolution, policing you are taking on something that is usually inherently depressing. You deal only with problems, problems that should not have come up in the first place and you take a lot of the blame (whether or not it has anything to do with you). You get the blame for the problems taking too long to fix. And when problems are fixed, you get no thanks (‘cause it shouldn’t have happened in the first place). There is little time to reflect on success because you are always facing a mountain of further problems that people are shouting about.

Add changes and misunderstandings into the above mix and you have a recipe for depression, insecurity, madness… well, perhaps not madness. Yet!

I managed a few drinks with a colleague last night in the executive lounge at the hotel (an occasional benefit) and we had a good laugh. He mentioned a book I should read:

Mindhunter: Inside the Fbi’s Elite Serial Crime Unit
by John E. Douglas

Read more about this book…

so after our drink, I went back to my room, signed on (ah, the joys of mobile broadband) and purchased an electronic copy for my PDA. Read for far too long (especially given I did not start reading until after midnight) but it did take my mind off things. Another colleague had reminded me earlier in the day that "no one has died, no one has cancer" – putting the pains into perspective. A book about serial killers did so even more especially as the author of the book starts off talking about having a seizure because of over work. Oh, the irony.

Things aren’t perfect, but at least my battery is recharging. (Increasing problems with my knee though is a bad sign… have to keep an eye on it.)

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Sinusoidal

I work hard to be positive and give energy to a team but sometimes I feel like I am in a Harry Potteresque situation with my very life force being sucked out of me. Over the last few months I have taken on some especially difficult tasks that are somewhat thankless, that others have shied away from, that are risky in terms of recognition. I felt safe doing this because of the team around me. Then the team changed and what I had done for the last year was of no consequence.

Funny thing is that for many years as a consultant I have been helping organisations prepare for and deal with major change. I have lots of feedback from clients saying I have really helped them. Despite this, it is not something I find I am coping with that well myself.

A senior colleague talked to me today in terms of sinusoidal waves and that I was probably in the trough at the moment. I wondered about overlapping and cancelling out waves.

The team has changed and, to my surprise, I find myself no longer valued and pushed into a role I had not signed up for when I actually think there are much more important things to do. Generally, I am willing to turn my hand to anything and help get the job done. I got a lecture from a new guy on how good he is and some corrective feedback. This from someone who isn’t listening. He also pointed out that I have a tendency to go on a bit – that explains why he just cuts me off (shame he doesn’t stop me directly instead) – which is true (but only because I am trying to make sure I cover the bases for a new guy). Then he made references to a project I had been on years before where there had been problems (where in my view I was "shafted") – a black mark is always hard to remove (despite support from lots of senior managers who knew me well and gave support on the grounds that what was described to them was completely at odds with what they themselves experienced with me).

I think it is funny how I have clients that think me amazing especially where I have coached individual members of their teams in completely different ways, dealing with some people that were thought to be “difficult”. Years ago I was too direct and could come over as a bully. Now I think I must be a gentle giant – maybe I just need to turn green and rip my shirt a bit.

So now I feel my career is at risk and I have just wasted 12 months when I could have been building up a profile somewhere else.

I did seriously consider just walking out of my job today (not even servicing my notice). I could do with time off anywhere to sort my breathing out and to address an increasingly painful problem with one of my knees – I have been putting up with the pain up to now but am now wondering why.

How depressed am I? Still not sure I will return next week.

Lets hope this is just a passing phase. I accept that all projects have difficult points, difficult people, and difficult situations. Hard to see the positives when doing a role where it feels you are getting the blame for everything.

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Photo assignment

I really enjoy doing photography. It is great fun, can be done at any time, and generally gives pleasure to many. Getting paid for it is even better. I choose not to take on the high-pressure work and responsibility of weddings (I just do not have the time to prepare given the long hours I work in my day-job).

Taking photos of new and inexperienced models for the cost of providing them with some prints or CDs (tfp or tfcd: trade for print or trade for cd) gives the models something to add to their portfolio to help them get more work (hopefully paid in the long run) is a good opportunity for photographers to develop their own skills, try out new techniques and styles. Generally, I do not put these photos on this blog or my normal photo blogs but instead on model/photographer sites.

Getting enough money to allow me to pay for my hobby is particularly rewarding. Usually, a photographer retains all rights to his/her photos and provides prints/cds to customers under limited licensing arrangements. From time to time, the opportunity arrives to do something a little different. Something where I do not want to post the photos anywhere and am happy to hand over full rights to the customer. I leave you to imagine what this might be.

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Description of film on TV give in The Independent today

Channel Five 10pm FILM Maximum Risk (Ringo Lam 1996 US) Smash-bang-wallop with Jean-Claude van Damme. To bother you with plot or character details would be to work harder than the scriptwriters.

Brilliant. I do like the pithy little comments the usual have on their TV pages.

Having decided to blog this, I thought I should make more effort than the scriptwriters. I like this summary of the plot from IMDb:

A policeman takes his twin brother’s place and inherits his problems and a beautiful girlfriend. He is forced to kickbox his way from France to the U.S. and back while playing footsie with the FBI and Russian mafia. Not just muscles with a badge, the policeman must find the answers to some tough questions, none harder than what the heck is an accordian player doing in a sauna. Written by Greg Mintz {GM.Augusta@worldnet.att.net}

Funny thing is that I have this film on now in the background. I didn’t leave the office until around 9pm tonight so this film is probably just about the right level for me.

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Returned to work

I was only off for a couple of days but it felt longer partly because a) time goes very slowly at home when I am suffering from an asthma attack – ot much I can do but rest and mope about slowly awaiting sufficient breathing capacity to do something useful and not boring; b) feeling that too much is going on at work that need some attention.

Obviously I am not indispensable, but there are only a small number of people focused on delivery who are involved in the overall picture. Plus, as I am not about to leave the project, anything that does not get picked up by me will just end up causing me more trouble later.

I spent Monday in bed but online all day talking to people using the work internal messaging system (Sametime) – I could not actually talk for long – and writing/reading/responding on email.

This meant that on Tuesday I was not as well as I could be but I slept well on Tuesday night and when I woke in the morning could not face another day at home so showered, dressed, packed and headed off in the car at 7am. Got to the Heathrow area by 10.30am with a couple of breaks on the way.

I was still coughing and wheezing my way through the day but I don’t think most people noticed too much.

When I got to the hotel (should have left the office well before 7 though), I did feel very tired and  dropped off for a bit without working my way through my various inhalers and taking any tablets. So now, I am wide awake having had to take them late. I am now buzzing and will do so for a while.

Just to put things in perspective, one of my colleagues suffered from a brain tumour last year. It was discovered in time for her to get an operation (but not enough in time to have not put her life at risk and endured some very unpleasant experiences). She is largely fully recovered BUT deaf in one ear (well, they had to go through some-where) however, a cold causes her problems and there is always the risk of complications.

She showed me photos and videos of her operation. In fact, she blue-toothed them from her phone to my phone during an especially boring meeting so that I could show them to my kids (one of whom had an operation on her head last year). They were fascinated. Oddly, a couple of male colleagues really did not want to look at the images when I offered them a viewing today.

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One Red Paperclip

I have just read One Red Paperclip by Kyle MacDonald:

He has a very similar writing style to Dave Gorman although, for me, not in the same league BUT what he has done is remarkable.

In course of a year, he has traded up from one red paperclip to a house, yes, a house – full bricks and mortar job in a nice area.

He has done this using a variation of a popular Canadian game: bigger or better. This is works on the basis that one man’s rubbish is another man’s gold. Rather than focusing exclusively on always going for the obviously better deal from a commercial point-of-view, especially where the publicity surrounding him made sponsorship style advertising of huge value far outweighing the costs involved in the trades. He only traded with people who he liked and who he believed genuinely wanted to trade for the sake of the trade involved rather than for what publicity they could get out of it.

Well worth reading and will probably make you wonder …

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Chip and pin not enough at my local Blockbuster

I got somewhat annoyed with Blockbuster the other day. I have recently acquired a Playstation 3 (free with hotel points earned from suffering living away from home for work so much) and was keen to get some Blue-ray disks (the winning high-definition format from the latest format war).

When I came to pay, I had spent over £100, I used a Visa debit card (I know that for anything over £100 it can be better to pay with a credit card but I was not worried about this purchase).

Once the pin machine told me to remove my card, I popped it back into my wallet but then the sales guy asked for it back so he could run it through an old-fashion credit-card imprint machine. I was not happy about this – wasn’t this what the banks did not like (all those copies floating around)? The sales guy promised that I was not going to be charged a second time. They just needed it for security. "Company policy" he said.

I asked to speak to the manager. She told me the same. The only option they gave me was to either allow them to do this or to take a refund and leave the store. They advised that it was for security purposes to prove that I had come into the shop. I pointed out that my entering of the pin number rather than them doing a CNP (Customer Not Present) transaction was sufficient proof of my being there. I asked "isn’t the whole point of chip and pin" to help improve security of transactions? [Before I get the usual ranting emails, I am a techie – I know the problems with chip and pin.]

More strikingly, they refused alternative forms of identification such as my driving license and even my passport.

As I wanted the items and was off-colour and could not face hunting down a cash machine, I gave in and handed them my card but only after a) getting an assurance that they kept these secure in a locked office and shredded them in a few weeks time and b) writing on all copies that the transaction was null and void.

Must write to the head office and complain though.

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Unsafe drive home when asthma attacks

I headed for home early today. Normally I stick around till evening on a Friday to make sure everything gets done that can be done so I can have a relaxing weekend but I have felt a cold taking a grip over the last couple of days. Whilst I have had a cough on and off for a good while, it is things that really attack my chest that worry me the most.

I had really ratcheted-up the doses I was taking from inhalers but was still not getting good control of my asthma. 

Many of my colleagues head off Thursday-night or Friday lunch time. I have never really done this. I am not clear why anyone else feels they can do it either but maybe that is just me not being very good at getting myself organised. I have managed teams spread throughout the world in the past so I do not lack the skills for remote management. I guess it is just the role I have at the moment really needs me on site feeling the pulse of what is going on directly. Things change fast.

At the start of the project, I used to aim to leave between 3pm and 4pm if I could but I quickly realised that this was a bit pointless as traffic was pretty much at its worst by this time. (Earlier or much later are usually better times to leave.) Despite leaving with good reason, I still felt somewhat guilty about going. I feel this when I am off ill as well. Weird.

The journey proved somewhat unsafe because as my breathing was not good, when I had coughing fits, I lacked oxygen so much that I felt somewhat faint. There were a couple of times as I got nearer home that I had to move onto the hard-shoulder very quickly and come to a stop as there was a real risk that I would faint at the wheel. Horrible.

As it turned out, I never did faint completely. I took several breaks on the way including one very close to home when I nipped into a Blockbuster store for a while.

I have to wonder at times like this though what risk I am taking for myself and others. Perhaps I should have stayed in the hotel over the weekend to recover rather than trying to drive home.

The trouble with asthma though is that unless you are having a dramatic attack and writhing on the floor, most people do not realise how debilitating it can be while trying to fight it. Most people will hear me as a heavy breather most of the time and a good part of that will rightly be put down to just being unfit and overweight. What they will not be aware of is how much effort goes into breathing consciously a lot of the time when I have a cold or a cough. There have been a few times in the office when I have come very close to fainting but I have not yet been embarrassed so.

I suspect this cold will take some shifting. I certainly feel that my reserves are somewhat depleted at the moment. It has been a difficult last few weeks and I have found a couple of things particularly difficult. Asthma is partly psychosomatic and always worse when under stress.

I have a ball to attend tomorrow night and the better half will be extremely upset if I do not attend (not least because she has been working furiously to make herself a ball-dress).

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Back pains again

I fear my back is about to give in again – I had considerable pain last night and did not sleep at all well. I think maybe the weekend in London with a not-so-good shared double-bed and generall hauling of a trolley-bag around might have done me some harm.

It is now just over a year since I first had major problems and had to take six weeks off work.

Until just a few months ago, I was in pretty much constant but tolerable pain but that stopped leaving just aches every now and then. Last night I was scared of locking-up again and being in agony.

The exercises I went through were painful but seemed to have helped.

Over the next week or so I shall have to be extremely careful. In particular, making sure I am sitting properly at work.

My wife and I are off to a ball this weekend. I think nothing showy in my DJ will be the order of the day.

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