“I close with a peom by David Harkin as I think R would have approved of its message.

You can shed a tear that he is gone
or you can smile because he has lived

You can close your eyes and pray he'll come back
or you can open your eyes and see all he's left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
or you can be full of the love you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live for yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember and only that he's gone
or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
or you can do what he'd want: smile, open your eyes love and go on.”

His widow added these words:
“And so in love remember R's life, the qualities you loved and
admired, your memories of him. They are a reality that can never die.”

I found a copy of the main text on http://www.blakehartley.com/PoemsPage.htm
but a search for David Harkin gives a slightly different version called Remember me, http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/remember-me/

“I close with a poem by David Harkin as I think R would have approved of its message.

You can shed a tear that he is gone
or you can smile because he has lived

You can close your eyes and pray he’ll come back
or you can open your eyes and see all he’s left.

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him
or you can be full of the love you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live for yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember and only that he’s gone
or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
or you can do what he’d want: smile, open your eyes love and go on.”

His widow added these words:
“And so in love remember R’s life, the qualities you loved and
admired, your memories of him. They are a reality that can never die.”

I found a copy of the main text on http://www.blakehartley.com/PoemsPage.htm
but a search for David Harkin gives a slightly different version called Remember me, http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/remember-me/

“I close with a poem by David Harkin as I think R would have approved of its message.

You can shed a tear that he is gone
or you can smile because he has lived

You can close your eyes and pray he’ll come back
or you can open your eyes and see all he’s left.

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him
or you can be full of the love you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live for yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember and only that he’s gone
or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
or you can do what he’d want: smile, open your eyes love and go on.”

His widow added these words:
“And so in love remember R’s life, the qualities you loved and
admired, your memories of him. They are a reality that can never die.”

I found a copy of the main text on http://www.blakehartley.com/PoemsPage.htm
but a search for David Harkin gives a slightly different version called Remember me, http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/remember-me/

Over time, it may be that more answers start to appear to match with the many questions that family and friends have. Hopefully these answers may provide a better understanding of the motivation for these changes.

My mother in law was adopted by relatives at the age of 3 (she is now nearly 80). Recent research into the family tree raised a whole load of questions about her other, and unkown, family on her mother's side. This reopened a number of deeply hidden memories and raised a whole load of new questions which now can never be answered. This caused her quite a bit of anxiety.

As mentioned before, I hope that over time, some answers start to emerge.

Thanks for requoting my previous message. As I stated before, we are all on a journey through life and need to remember that at some point that journey will come to an end. As we go through this journey, perspectives and awareness will change and we start to become more aware of our mortality. This awareness should not be a source of gloom, but should act as a reminder that we only pass this way once and should try and get the most out of all we do and help others to get the most out of their journey.